Adoption – For Adopted Adults

Every adoption situation is different. We have pulled together a list of resources that might be useful for adult adoptees as they offer differing perspectives on all things adoption, offering a variety of funny, gritty, and true honesty accounts about the lives and challenges faced by some adopted people. Whether you prefer to read, listen, or watch, there is something for everyone in our list of recommendations below.

Books

1. The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share their Wisdom and Tools, by various authors, editor Lynn Grubb (book). This book was written by thirty adopted authors, providing support, encouragement and understanding to other adoptees in facing the complexities of being adopted. Available here.

2. Everything is Possible, by Jen Bricker (book). Jen Bricker was born without legs. With so many uncertainties facing them, her biological parents placed her for adoption. In her adoptive home, her adoptive parents helped her to face the challenges of growing up different. This book is filled with heart, and spirit, wit, wisdom, honesty, and plenty of inspiration. Available here.

3. The Stranger in My Genes, by Bill Griffeth (book). A longtime genealogy buff, Griffeth takes a DNA test with unexpected results, and undertakes a journey to solve the mystery of his origins. Available here.

4. No Matter What: An Adoptive Family’s Story of Hope, Love and Healing, by Sally Donovan (book). This inspiring and heart-rending book tells the story of Sally & Rob, and their journey from an infertility diagnosis, through to their decision to adopt 2 children who had suffered abuse. Available here.

5. Questions Adoptees Are Asking, by Sherrie Eldrige (book) Sherrie Eldrige, a Christian adoptee, interviews more than 70 adoptees to talk about the questions that many adopted adults have, like, “Do you ever wonder if your birth mother thinks about you?” Many adoptees of closed adoptions find commonality in their questions. Available here.
   
6. The Face on the Milk Carton, by Caroline Cooney (book). This young adult mystery novel is about a 15-year-old girl named Janie Johnson, who starts to suspect that her parents may have kidnapped her and that her biological parents are somewhere in New Jersey. These suspicions come after Janie recognizes a picture of herself on a milk carton under the heading “Missing Child.” Janie’s life gets more stressful as she tries to find the truth while hiding the secret from her parents. Available here.

Films / Documentaries

1. Calcutta is My Mother (documentary). This feature length documentary tells the story of one transracial adoptee’s first journey back to the city of her birth. Reshma McClintock was born and abandoned in Calcutta, India in March of 1980. Calcutta is My Mother is the emotional documentation of Reshma’s journey home; of her losses, gains, and search for identity.

2. Three Identical Strangers (film). This emotional thought-provoking documentary shows a reunion between three identical triplets, separated at birth to three different families. Rated 12A

3. Closure (film). A trans-racial adoptee finds her birth mother, and meets the rest of a family who did not know she existed, including her birth father. A story about identity, the complexities of trans-racial adoption, and most importantly, closure. Angela Tucker is a transracial adoptee and the subject of the documentary. Rated 18

4. Secrets and Lies (film). Following the death of her adoptive parents, a successful young black optometrist establishes contact with her biological mother- a lonely white factory worker living in poverty in East London. Rated 15.

5. Live and Become (film). In 1980 the black Falashas in Ethiopia are recognised as genuine Jews. In turn they are secretly carried to Israel. The day before the transport the son of a Jewish mother dies. In his place and with his name (Schlomo) she takes a Christian 9-year-old boy. Upon arrival this second mother dies. Schlomo is adopted by a good family but remains depressed until he secretly sends a letter to his real mother. Not Rated.

6. Daughter from Danang (film). Daughter from Đà Nẵng is a 2002 documentary film about an Amerasian, Heidi Bub, meeting her biological family in Da Nang, decades after being brought to the United States in 1975 during Operation Babylift at the end of the Vietnam War. Rated PG.

Online Resources

1. I am Adopted by Jessenia Parmer (blog). This author shares her take on dealing with trauma that adoptees face during and after her adoption. Available here.

2. PAC-UK (website). PAC-UK’s specialist service provides support for adults adopted as children, and for adults otherwise permanently placed as children. Available here.

3. Through the Eyes of an Adopted Kid (blog). Becky’s blog discusses the experiences of an adult adoptee and the challenges she faces. Available here. 

4. No Apologies for Being Me by Lynn Grubb (blog). This blog follows Lynn on her journey to finding her birth family and also contains lots of useful links and resources for anyone involved in adoption. Available here.

5. Adoption.com (website) Adoption forums for adoptive parents, adoptees, and birth parents. Get your adoption questions answered. Available here.

Podcasts

1. The Rambler, by Mike McDonald (podcast). This podcast features one-on-one interviews with adoptees and people’s lives who were touched by adoption. Available here.

2. Adoptees On (podcast). This is a podcast where adoptees discuss their real life experiences with adoption. It gives listeners a deeper understanding of each adoptee’s journey and how listeners can relate to their stories.  Available here.

3. Who Am I Really? (podcast). This podcast shares the journeys of adoptees who have searched for and found members of their biological family.  Available here.

4. Operation Adopted (podcast). This series talks with adoptees and explores the individualized nature of adoption! Each adoptee has a unique story and we want to give them a platform to share it. Available here.

5. The Black Adoption Podcast (podcast). Friends Dr. Samantha Coleman and Sandria Washington both discovered as adults they were adopted. Each quickly learned that Black adoption is common, but taboo to speak about in private or publicly. With each conversation, more healing happens for generations of Black families and for the culture! Available here.